As you can tell from the title, this post is about that huge uphill task most of us have faced at some point in time in our daily lives.
Story time:
My daughter is 10 years old and she said something last week that rung bells in my head. It wasn't new, but every now and then we need reminders and jolts of such simple rules, and I love it that most of the time these nuggets of wisdom are brought in by little people, who in all their glory and simplicity do what comes naturally.
She had wanted to be a bus patrol this year. I told her 'no' - yes, I am to be blamed. BUT I had good reason. 5th grade would be a jump in school work, and she had her plate full, and knowing her propensity to sleep in, I wasn't entirely sure she would be making the bus every morning. So, I said: Maybe next year? Not this one, let's just try and be regular to school on the bus and see?
She, being the good one, agreed. This was during last summer. She asked again in Fall, and I gently diverted her attention.
Cut to this January.
One evening, she comes home and exclaims!
Guess what? Maria is a patrol! Like now. In January. I thought there was a cutoff and I couldn't apply in September, and today she is a patrol!
Wow! How did that happen? I ask
You know what she did? She asked!
That's all she did! ASK, mom. She went to Mr. Bate, and asked if she could be a patrol last week, and she is a patrol now.
Starts to mutter her incredulity with more power, yet under her breath. "
all she did was ask! why didn't I think of that!"
I stared back at her with renewed hope, happiness and realization, and said aloud what we both were thinking in our heads.
"If you want something, badly enough, all you have to do is ask"
***
We've battled with the uncertainty and the How, and the What ifs, and the Rejection. We, especially as women have been conditioned to not ask, or to not feel ungrateful for what we already have and to be labeled Selfish, if we did ask.
As children, we've been told that it is not polite to ask for that extra piece of cake, for a playdate, for the new toy your friend already owns. It starts back then. The conditioning. So, it is little surprise that it translates to a lot of disappointment and dissatisfaction piling on as we continue to smother that impulse which is basic.
Your eyes see food. Your brain decides that it wants it, and your mouth is asked to shut up and there is that constant friction between the various organs and presto, obviously we land with a headache?
That leads to the next question (am such a problem solver!) on how this discontent can affect us. Not just giving us undue headaches but when translating it to real world scenarios, it is evident that we stifle ourselves of opportunities and growth. Blind sighted by assumptions and conditioning, we are selling ourselves short and hence are not fully utilizing our potential and even that space to grow beyond.
Here's your takeaway.
- Ask.
- Ask politely.
- The worst that can happen is a No. It's okay. Doesn't make you less.
- If you got a Yes, then aren't you glad you asked?
- If you don't ask, you've already been denied.
..and I found this nice video that explains it better. Plus she has my mom's name, so there's an affinity alright ;-)
So, want something? Ask!
I plan to today, and I have a feeling, I'll be all the more richer for it!