My mind's always racing and jumping from one (mostly sane, but occasionally harebrained) idea to another, and I love the sparks it lets off. Just yesterday, an idea that got into my head a couple of days ago saw fruition and I will be ready to reveal in the next couple of days. I can't wait!
Spring has sprung!
Three things:
Thanks to a casual conversation with a friend, something simple has the potential to turn into something more beautiful. Am clapping my hands in glee :-)
Also, I will be moving to my own domain and hence the delay and postponing of this week's story. I'll be back in the next few days with a spiffy new look and it will be worth it, I promise you!
I met Aparna on Twitter. We started following each other when we realized we had a few things in common. Apart from DC area residents, we both enjoyed food. She is great at discovering various food places in and around DC (and everywhere she travels and she does travel a lot!) which makes me watch her with envy, coz well, that's what a suburban can do! :-)
She writes about it in her fresh new blog:
Apart from food, what caught my eye was her fervent tweets and passionate shoutouts to a Batala drummer group. I had no idea what Batala was, but every link was to a place they played and so I asked her one day, and she explained that she is part of the troupe and they play at various places. I googled, like a good dutiful curious cat, and my eyes went round. I love all things music and arts, but seeing all these strong, vibrant women with HUGE drums and the way they swayed and played, was an experience itself!
Then she tells me they are an all woman Band - Batala Washington and that she joined after moving here to the US!
There was definitely a parallel connection. Not only were the arts the connection, she also followed her heart and passion and it shows! I can relate to that. Totally. :-)
Of course I had to badger her to spend some time to sit down with me and tell me and us her story! How? What?
So Aparna, let's start from the beginning! A little background please?
I grew up in India, mostly in Bangalore, and have been in the US now for 13 years. During the day, I work in Product Management in the corporate world. My (outside of work) passion is in Food and Travel, and I LOVE exploring new restaurants and neighborhoods in DC (which I now call home). I recently started a blog – Doorstep and Beyond to document my adventures.
So, I can tell you love music. How did that come about? Started off as a child or is that a recent entry? Growing up in a Tamil Brahmin family, it’s hard to escape music. I grew up learning Carnatic music and Bharatanatyam. I have ALWAYS been exposed to music and dance, but percussion has been my main draw. When I was about 10 – I wanted to join “mridangam” classes, but it was a pretty male dominated thing to do, and multiple teachers refused to tutor a girl! So that was that. I ended up joining my high school marching band to get my percussion fix! :-) Haha, I can totally relate to that! I am not Tamilian by birth, but have lived there and I know that it's something that runs in your blood, and it's actually a hugely envious trait, for the rest of the clans I mean! So this sounds like a natural progression of sorts. Percussion is amazing, and am not surprised but more shocked that the teachers would actually refuse you! Gosh, You showed them didn't ya! So tell me, did you figure out why percussion? Percussion is fascinating to me. It’s very mathematical (and I love numbers!) in a sense, and timing is everything. Also, when playing the drums, you are expressing yourself, and you literally forget about everything else at the time. The energy is fabulous, and invigorates me. I agree. The drum resonates deeply. I know we can all google, but tell us about Batala. What sort of drumming is it, and origins? The music that we play is from Salvdaor, in Brazil. In Salvdaor, music is literally everywhere. There are multiple street parades (called blocos) – and the music is basically the evolution of the drumming methods brought to Brazil in the 18th and 19th century by West African slaves. There’s a lot of history to the music we play.The all-womenBatala Washingtonpercussion group started in June 2007 in Washington DC, and is part of the International Batala group that plays Afro-Brazilian / Samba-Reggae rhythms. There are over 20 Batala bands around the world – in the US, France, England, Spain, Brazil, Belgium…etc. It’s a big family! That sounds super fascinating. But you are right, when I think South America, the vision is that of free styling, happy folks engaged in music, singing or drums and one thing that stays is that they all look so happy! That's such a positive thing for a group to project. Love it. So, how did you fall upon this band? In 2011 my husband and I bought a condo and moved to the Ust neighborhood in DC. As luck would have it, Batala played a show in my neighborhood within a week of my moving! The minute I saw them – I knew I had to join them! I literally found my groove with them after seeing them that day. Seeing 70 women playing drums is powerful! U bet! Isn't that wonderful? Things just come together, when one is ready for it huh? :) So you've been with the band a few years now, tell me how this has changed or shaped you? Drumming in general to me is powerful, even more so as a girl. You forget about everything else when you are drumming – so it’s a great stress reliever, and a mental stimulator. Playing for 3-4 hours is also good physical exercise – it’s draining, but you are so wired from the stimulation, it’s almost like a “high”! Batala Washington is all female –which brings about a different kind of energy and support! Also, we got to play a show that opened for The Rolling Stones – can't beat that! All female is excellent! I belong to an all female biking group, and the fun, strong atmosphere is such a thriving atmosphere to be in. Has its perks definitely :) Also one day you must send a video of you girls to all those tutors who refused you! ;-) Rolling Stones! Wow Indeed! It must be a lot of fun and hard work am sure? Playing with Batala is a LOT OF FUN, and if you are not having fun, it’s hard to keep up the commitment. At the same time, it’s also challenging. You are constantly trying to improve your skills, learn another drum, recognize the nuances in the music and the beats…it’s a constant learning and improvement process. We also get to play at really cool and interesting venues, events – exposing me to a lot of things that I otherwise may not have come across.
YES! I agree. Work Hard, Play Hard always works. As long as we are challenged, and there is constant growth, interest and commitment sticks. What fine perks you have! :-) So tell me how many hours a week you meet, what's your time commitment to this? It’s definitely a big time and energy commitment. We spend about 5 hours weekly (Saturday mornings) or rehearsing as a group, and of course we have shows that we are all involved in. We are also an all volunteer band, which means we are involved in teams in the band and all contribute time to organizing shows, or managing the costumes and instruments, or doing PR etc.Currently I co-lead the production team, which is basically responsible for responding to show requests, making sure shows are set up and logistics on day of show. We have a number of teams and everyone in the band is encouraged to join one – if possible. There are social commitments as well – with almost 80 people in the group, there is always a birthday, or a happy hour, or something! It’s up to you to manage your time and energy though – if you really want to do it, you will find a way. I have it easy – but there are women in the band who are in school, who have kids in school, so it’s a lot harder for them, but everyone is just so passionate about it, and you make it work. You want it to work. Thank you for re-iterating what I also believe and tell folks all the time. If you want something bad enough, you will make time for it! The enthusiasm levels is what makes a group successful, and this is great that you girls have it together. Wonderful! Do you think this drumming is for anyone to try? Is there a personality that would do better? Let's say, should we be musical or trained for someone to try Batala? Absolutely for everyone! I believe that it gives you a different persona when you are drumming, especially with a group of other women! Introverts, extroverts, musically inclined, not so inclined – there really is something for everyone, as long as you want it! Yay! One of these days I'll probably try it too. Am getting all enthused just watching a few of those videos you sent! So with all this time commitment and practice, I bet you had to give up a lot too? :-) Haha, yes, no more late Friday nights! In all seriousness, my husband has been a great support – since it does take a huge chunk of time, time away from him. And time away from friends too. My friends are also always supportive and come cheer us on in many shows. I don’t think of it as a sacrifice – but more that I have really found something that is truly satisfying, and am glad to have all the support I do! It's awesome to have that support right? Pretty much all the women I've spoken with, have a spouse who is amazingly supportive in what they do. It works both ways, but without the men allowing us to be ourselves, reaching where we want to is hard. So, how diverse is this group? Have any one else from India or someone you can relate to? I know it doesn't matter much, but for curiosity sakes? There is one other Indian in the group. But - never felt conscious or stood out - the group is EXTREMELY diverse and very welcoming. I like that it is also a different world of sorts, for me - and outside my regular circle of friends.
Awesome! I agree. It's refreshing too, isn't it? Okay now share some funny incidents during this learning process. I bet there are a few, there have to be! :-) Oh man, too many to count! To keep it kosher, I’ll give you a small example. When we were rehearsing for our show at the Rolling Stones concert, Mick Jagger (we call him Mick ;)) came out and said Hi – and all of us just stood there like lovestruck teenagers, in awe, and didn’t say a word. Not sure what he made of that…..We’ve also had a number of shows where my (drum) sticks fly off…or I make a HUGE and very evident mistake…it’s embarrassing, but it happens…and we laugh it off. LOL! Mick eh? Yep, the aura of a super musician. I can see that happening with a few I admire. :-) ..and yes, sticks flying. That's me definitely haha! As a parting shot, tell me where you see yourself, say a year or 5 years form now? Batala is here to stay? Honestly, I don’t really know. I am not a planner. I do however know that I want to and will keep doing it as long as I can. Once a Batalette, always a Batelette J A few links: WashPo article on Batala Washington. CCTV's article on the Troupe and Founder.
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There you have it folks. If you have been reading the posts here, the one constant thread that you will find is " Follow your heart and your passion" Just do. Don't overthink. Happiness and Contentment is found in the journey when you follow what your heart tells you.
If you are new, take a moment and read some of the earlier women I've profiled on here. Subscribe for a fortnightly "So, what's your story" on meeting the next Ms.Chutzpah ;-)
Most of us when presented with a problem, try to find solutions. Immediately even. Some ponder and think and reach into their experience and wisdom and some use what they have learnt in classrooms and books and we work forward, with the strength of the background in focus.
As I was debating on what I must write today, and what facet of the girl power that must be addressed and I could write on, and this neat little short fell into my lap. I was drawn to the screen as it showed an Optometrist and a little kid. Since, optometry is close to my childhood heart and I grew up with visions of me in those shoes, I usually and quickly try and peek into what the article is about.
Once a nerd, always a nerd they say, and I am, and am unafraid of admitting it.
What caught my attention, apart form her story, and her vivacious personality and all things eye, was how she defined what an Entrepreneur is. ".. Even if you are able to help ONE person, it makes a difference to that ONE, and that is what entrepreneurship is all about. It is about being Human."
She declares. With conviction and bated enthusiasm that sparkles in her eyes and reaches out to tug at your heart right through the camera.
There's a charm in seeing young ones go do their own thing.
There is a certain naive conviction and belief that is not marred by cynicism or grayness of all else that floods the adult world.
Probably the reason they also win and whoop our adult asses when it comes to gaming and video and mobile-phone games. They do not strategize much, they just do. They follow their heart and belief, in solutions and their workings and just DO.
..and that's what she did. Right here.
Gotta love 'em!
Go ahead and listen to her. It's just 3.50 minute long here.
Ps:
Blogger's just been crazy annoying and is refusing to let me embed here.
Which also means that I will be moving shortly, for a few reasons, so maybe it will happen this week! I am excited, so stay tuned!
Adoption has been a topic close to my heart. A secret topic close to my heart. It wasn't one of those I spoke much about or acted upon, but dream I did. From when I was in 8th grade and I heard a rather vivid story on adoption and I saw how integrated and happy they all were and how hard the pre-adoption stage was for both, and I swore to myself that I would grow up and adopt.
Well, I grew up, and no, I did not adopt. For some, life isn't steered too consciously, and I did not pay much attention to where I sailed, and now am at the point where I know that that boat has sailed what with my age and stage in life. That only makes the desire and dream all the more poignant when I do hear stories or meet folks who have opened up their hearts and lives, it creates that pang in my heart. There's that tug, a gentle choke of the voice chords and there is that mist that appears when I see them, making them all look like well, angels.
In recent years, Ive known a few of these wonderful families, and the count is only increasing. Bless their hearts!
That's enough about me, and let me introduce you to this amazing woman who has followed her instincts and heart and charted off into unknown territories with nothing more than faith and belief in herself and her husband. Unassuming and with an air of quiet acceptance hiding all the turmoil as she worked her way through to the surface, Lakshmi and I go a very long way back.
Both of us started blogging right about the same time, and with so few Indian bloggers in the US back then, most quickly knew each other and we built a rapport, like we do, through our words, experiences and the tales we spun on our blogs. She had an ephemeral way of expressing her thoughts, almost dream like, and many of us watched her through her initial gloom with despair and helplessness, coz that's all anyone could offer.
Then when I found her again after being offline a bit, there she was happy and preening over her babies. She writes it all on her blog.
She is also an amazingly helpful, kind person, who without hesitation, opened up to me with what I posed. If I was in wonder and awe with her last five years, I now am also filled with gratitude and joy in knowing her and to the value that one can add on with such experiences.
Without any more delay, here is Lakshmi Iyer, on her adoption process and becoming a mom, a parent. :-)
As you can tell from the title, this post is about that huge uphill task most of us have faced at some point in time in our daily lives.
Story time:
My daughter is 10 years old and she said something last week that rung bells in my head. It wasn't new, but every now and then we need reminders and jolts of such simple rules, and I love it that most of the time these nuggets of wisdom are brought in by little people, who in all their glory and simplicity do what comes naturally.
She had wanted to be a bus patrol this year. I told her 'no' - yes, I am to be blamed. BUT I had good reason. 5th grade would be a jump in school work, and she had her plate full, and knowing her propensity to sleep in, I wasn't entirely sure she would be making the bus every morning. So, I said: Maybe next year? Not this one, let's just try and be regular to school on the bus and see?
She, being the good one, agreed. This was during last summer. She asked again in Fall, and I gently diverted her attention.
Cut to this January.
One evening, she comes home and exclaims! Guess what? Maria is a patrol! Like now. In January. I thought there was a cutoff and I couldn't apply in September, and today she is a patrol! Wow! How did that happen? I ask You know what she did? She asked! That's all she did! ASK, mom. She went to Mr. Bate, and asked if she could be a patrol last week, and she is a patrol now.
Starts to mutter her incredulity with more power, yet under her breath. "all she did was ask! why didn't I think of that!"
I stared back at her with renewed hope, happiness and realization, and said aloud what we both were thinking in our heads. "If you want something, badly enough, all you have to do is ask"
***
We've battled with the uncertainty and the How, and the What ifs, and the Rejection. We, especially as women have been conditioned to not ask, or to not feel ungrateful for what we already have and to be labeled Selfish, if we did ask.
As children, we've been told that it is not polite to ask for that extra piece of cake, for a playdate, for the new toy your friend already owns. It starts back then. The conditioning. So, it is little surprise that it translates to a lot of disappointment and dissatisfaction piling on as we continue to smother that impulse which is basic.
Your eyes see food. Your brain decides that it wants it, and your mouth is asked to shut up and there is that constant friction between the various organs and presto, obviously we land with a headache?
That leads to the next question (am such a problem solver!) on how this discontent can affect us. Not just giving us undue headaches but when translating it to real world scenarios, it is evident that we stifle ourselves of opportunities and growth. Blind sighted by assumptions and conditioning, we are selling ourselves short and hence are not fully utilizing our potential and even that space to grow beyond.
Here's your takeaway.
Ask.
Ask politely.
The worst that can happen is a No. It's okay. Doesn't make you less.
If you got a Yes, then aren't you glad you asked?
If you don't ask, you've already been denied.
..and I found this nice video that explains it better. Plus she has my mom's name, so there's an affinity alright ;-)
So, want something? Ask!
I plan to today, and I have a feeling, I'll be all the more richer for it!
Today I introduce you to Jackie Tury, artist and social worker who found her calling in the creative arts while laying down in bed nursing a leg injury 8 years ago. From then to now, Jackie has gone on and not only learnt to paint and explore within the various mediums but she has also integrated her work in the social field and with a perfect marriage of the two, she has evolved into an artful awakening artist and teacher!
I met Jackie at a yoga retreat last year, and during the 2 hour session with her, I reflected, thought and chose my colors and cut and painted and glued and created a piece of work that was uniquely me and a reflection of my mind and its various layers. I did this with her asking questions, and leading me (and others) through the process.
Most definitely a very different kind of art class, I thought in my head as I held on it driving back.
Arguably, and not surprisingly, am not the only one who thought so!
..and with good reason, Jackie enjoys this process and you can tell how much by just visiting her home, which I did, and here is why I think she is wonderfully inspiring, different and has something that each of you will take away at the end of this post!
Life has a way to rock the boat that's steady. Some are gentle, some rocky, but rock it does. Most of us succumb to them, and strengthen, steel or allow for some clinks in the armor. It's only natural we protect who we are.
Most of the changes are expected to make us better human beings. The strength and the wisdom and the cautiousness with which we will allow to conduct ourselves in the future. There is a thin line between being strong or being harsh, between wisdom and cynicism, and between the shades of gray. The gray that gives us the clarity or the gray that dooms us.
Extenuating circumstances always bring the unfairness to light. To be at the receiving end of misfortune when you cannot answer the question "Why?" is a tough one to sleep on. You dig deep into your mind, into each crevice to wonder on the paybacks, the reasons on the Why.
When your logical brain cannot fathom and come up with an answer that seemingly satisfies, one tends to get cynical. To be angry. To lash out, to lose hope and to react in a way that leaves a bitter shadow on all things next.
To NOT allow that to happen requires tremendous faith and strength. It's easier to give up than to hold it together. It's even more wondrous and a true measure of strength, when one can hold it together when everyone around you expects you to break down.
I know of one woman who is exactly that.
There are am sure more, there cannot not be, but we can only talk about ones we encounter, and we are left to stare at them in awe and wonder and in a moment of complete un-abashed surrender, we may even pride ourselves of knowing such a fine woman.
A friend and confidante, I love her to the moon and back. Curious? Read more here.
It's personal and as raw as I can allow it without infringing on them.
We start the new year off with someone who has accomplished goals with a dogged determination and ones that took some dedicated persistence over long periods of time. With unflagging practice, Sheetal Rawat has followed her childhood dream of earning her black belt at the age of 42 after working on it for 5 years. She then went ahead ran a marathon.
Yep.
I’ve known Sheetal awhile, and only over the past few years have we gotten close enough for me to watch her with an air of awe and wonder. I can’t walk fast for nuts (coz of my knee) and here she was running marathons and kicking ass (maybe even literally!).
For the most part, thanks to Facebook, there is enough and more of everyone’s accolades hitting us at super byte speeds every time we open the app. It’s reached masochistic tendencies for some. To open, watch someone be happy for something they’ve achieved or celebrate and then instinctively look back on their lives and well, you know how that goes down the drain. It’s morbidly entertaining when you sit back and watch!
So, what we do see is the icing on the cake. The final ‘aha’ crowning moment. The tip of the iceberg. What we don’t see is the huge massive amount of personal effort and struggles that laid the foundation for the tip to shine through to you.
Is it worth it?
Heck yeah!
How do I know? Well, I know just like you do. You and I will together learn in this very space what it takes to become the very best that *you* want to become.
I sat down with Sheetal (over a period of time) and this is what I have for you.
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